Archive for April, 2010

Can You Tell My Mother?
April 25, 2010

Can you tell my mother,

That all I’m thinking now is suicide?

That I’m feeling like dying in three months,

That I have no future at my sight?

Can you tell my father,

That I’m tired of life,

That my destination is the graveyard,

And sleeping eternally is my dream?

Can you tell my mother,

How I want to withdraw just a while,

What my dreams consist of,

And how people destroy them with no heart?

Can you tell my father,

I’m so close to tears now,

I need someone to tell me it will be alright,

That everything will turn out just fine?

Can you tell my mother,

Can you tell my father,

That I might soon say goodbye?

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A Beautiful World
April 14, 2010

Having a new dog is mostly made up of fun, but partly of mess too. I have to walk to the petshop after schools and get all its needs. It means waking up early in the morning to fill the food bowl, going home and check any droppings or pee, and taking it for a walk. Of course my cat disapprove its arrival, and more than once he hissed at the dog (and got chased). I decided to buy a bag of treat for Kuming  just to let him know he’s not forgotten, but still, a lot of time I used to spend with him together is now taken by the dog.

Last night I had to put the dog into my bedroom, fearing the door leading to the garden would be scratched all over by him. I was thinking before sleep, though, about the honey eyes of my cat and its soft fur, how its body is slumped like a piece of cloth when I picked him up. I missed those things, but having to take care of the new dog, I have to sacrifice most of my time.

Four hours ago, I managed to get my sister to watch the dog while I went away. And when I came back, the dog was still in her bedroom, silent amidst the dark room. Now is relaxing time for me, and everything feels normal. My cat ran upstairs, waiting for me to open the balcony door. I went out to the quiet world with him tiptoeing by my side. I just realized then what a great time I used to have with my cat, and I never really appreciated it until now. With everything being so quiet and silent, it’s once again the midnight world I always have with my cat, only the two of us. The world where I feel comfortable and accepted. It feels right for me to be here. It’s the calmest and most peaceful time for me. Who needs a full moon hanging on the sky if I can see it on my cat’s back?

It’s so nice to be home.