My True Identity

I’ve grown certain that the root of all fear is that we’ve been forced to deny who we are – Frances Moore Lappe

If I can change one bit of myself, what would it be?

Let me see… The fact that I’m a loner? A solitude-loving loner?

If I say yes, that will mean I have to say that being a loner makes me unhappy. That will also mean I have to deny my own self.

Yes, maybe I don’t have that many friends, although I do have some. Yes, sometimes I feel like I don’t fit into the groups I encounter everyday, but most of the time I’m okay with that. So what makes me say loner at the first place?

Reflecting more, I realize it’s because of the nagging people around me make. Day after day I hear speeches of how I should be more active, becoming more sociable and find more friends. The fact is those speeches are made by people who think they know me, while in reality I don’t really think they do.

Yes, I meet them everyday. Yes, I speak a lot to them. But that doesn’t make me visible like a piece of glass to them.

I might not fit into the group that exists in my daily life, but I do find a sense of belonging in another group, the one that I can’t see everyday but I feel every moment. Why do these people have to place their focus on my flaw when I have strength?

I wouldn’t want to change a thing in me. What I want to do is to tell someone: stop expecting me to be the person I’m not, someone who really exists out there but not me. I will never be another person whom you favour. Accept me as I am.

It’s not that I refuse to change. It’s that I am being forced to imitate someone who looks so perfect in people’s eyes. Even if I change, I’ll never be the same person as she is. I might belong to the one-third of the population, but that doesn’t make me unseen.

Please deal with that.

I‘m an introvert at heart… And show business – even though I’ve loved it so much – has always been hard for me – Roy Rogers

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